The Dowd crowd must get loud. . .
Whatever the case, if I were Maureen, I'd be mighty steamed at Ted Rall for what he said about my family. And, as soon as Ted Rall turned 18, I'd kick his ass.
"Another extremely welcome sign is the latest news that major television media have broken with the government and have stated that they are joining the protests and are refusing to put out the government lies any more. It is a little known fact that there has been a completely clampdown on the media inside Ukraine for quite some time, and that Kuchma and his gang have been involved in numerous murders, beatings and intimidations of uncooperative journalists and opposition candidates. Yushchenko himself, has been the victim of two attempted assassinations, one involving a car-accident (a time-honored KGB method), and another, more recent one, which involved poisoning, for which he was treated in a foreign hospital. Yulia Tymoshenko, one of the leaders of the pro-democracy movement, who has also stood for office, was also nearly killed in a near-fatal staged car accident last year. She bravely carries on today."
"Thank you, Michael Moore. Your hysterical, childish antics attacking the president at the Academy Awards; your dishonest, paranoid, delusional, conspiracy-obsessed movie, Fahrenheit 9/11; your smug intrusion, mugging for the cameras at the Republican National Convention; your phony antidraft rallies on college campuses; and your general demeanor resonated only with already-committed lefties. As a caricature of yourself, you did more damage to your cause by rallying the opposition."
"In the past almost four years, I have come to fear almost everything the Bush administration does. In one way or the other, it has harmed, perhaps irreparably, virtually every aspect of American life. From raising the acceptable arsenic levels in water (a little arsenic is good for us all) to logging and snowmobiling in America’s formerly treasured parks, to ripping apart the bill of rights and trampling it underfoot, to using the threat of 'terrorist' attacks for political gain, to going to war on a lie and not just spending our money outrageously but being responsible for—and proud of—the deaths of hundreds of American soldiers, the maiming of thousands more (a deep and dirty secret) and the slaying of thousands (but who’s counting?) Iraqi civilians. All of this and much, much more literally keeps me awake at night, sick with fear and worry."
"The liberalism for which this essay has become a eulogy thus bears no resemblance whatsoever to the pathology today’s mass media labels 'liberalism': the feces-hurling, GOP-office-trashing, war-monument-vandalizing hatefulness of the self-proclaimed 'progressive' Left – a Left that in its pre-election frenzies reflected its cold indifference to America’s lower-income working families by proposing an expansion of health insurance that would have been available only if you as head-of-household were willing to submit self, mate and offspring to the ultimate humiliation of enslavement by the welfare bureaucracy. Not that I was especially surprised: the Left has dismissed the poor and near-poor as 'hopelessly reactionary' ever since welfare mothers rejected women’s-liberation organizing efforts in the early 1970s. The Left’s ideological hostility to the American underclass was in fact one of the earliest symptoms of the New Miserliness.
"'Six years steeped in the digital information industry have helped me understand today's news consumers in ways never before available to media executives,' Klein said in a statement."
"I had heard Jim DeMint, during his senatorial campaign, actually state that he was in favor of banning gays and single pregnant women from teaching in public schools. Instead of hurting DeMint, his statements appealed to the majority of voters."
"I realized how much power the "evangelicals" and "born-again Christians" have in this Bible Belt."
"I remembered the message placed recently on a Socastee Baptist church billboard condemning 'homosexuals,' 'liberals' and 'heathens.'"
"It was apparent that the "moral values" of DeMint and our president were those accepted by the majority. At least I could understand why voters voted the way they did."
"I could understand how voters could be swayed by campaigns based solely on fears of terrorism and future attacks in our country. I could understand how voters could vote for privatization of the Social Security system; could disregard the enormous budget deficit; could disregard the huge sums being spent to wage a war in Iraq and pay private contractors to rebuild that nation."
"All it takes is a selfish plan to live for today without worrying about future generations."
"I could even understand how voters can vote for a 'man' on the basis of his looks and 'down-to-earth' mannerisms."
"What depressed me, however, was the feeling I got that, by voting Democratic, my moral values were judged to be somehow less than those of the majority of voting Americans."
"Before accepting the idea that I am a person of low moral values, I thought about some of the things I believe in:."
"I believe in God's two great Commandments, the second of which states: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
" I try to live my life in accordance with the Ten Commandments, which are embodied in the two great Commandments."
"I believe that, by definition, the term marriage means a union of a man and a woman, and that this definition need not be changed; and I believe that fidelity is the most important quality of the partners in a marriage."
"I believe in the family structure. We have raised three children trying to instill in them feelings of respect and tolerance for all people."
"I believe that, as Abraham Lincoln said, "The role of government should be to do for people what they cannot do by themselves."
"I believe that the gap between the wealth of those 'having a lot' and those 'having a little' should not be a wide one."
"I could not see how these beliefs could possibly mark me as a person of "low moral values." I thought maybe there is something else that I am missing. So I decided to reflect on some of the things I do not believe in:
"I don't believe that our 'public servants' or any of their political backers should pander, mislead the public or in any way profit by public service."
"I don't believe that gays should be treated any differently under our laws than straight people because to do so would be in violation of God's second great Commandment."
"I don't believe that stem cell research should be [limited]."
"I don't believe that all abortions are bad; and I don't believe that licensed doctors who perform legal abortions should be charged with murder, or that the Catholic Church should deny the Holy Eucharist to anyone who is pro-abortion."
"I don't believe that the nonprofit National Association for the Advancement of Colored People should be investigated by the IRS for speaking out on behalf of a candidate unless all nonprofit church groups are also investigated for their political pronouncements."
"I don't believe that our citizens have any constitutional right to bear arms. It is a privilege and has been held to be so by our federal appellate courts that have examined the issue."
"I don't believe that any religious entity should preach prejudice or intolerance. It's against God's second great Commandment."
"I don't believe that 'liberal' views mean bad views."
"When all is said and done, I won't be judged to be someone with fewer moral values than the voters who elected DeMint, President Bush and other Republican candidates. If I am, so be it. I may be a 'blue' voter, but at least I am no longer depressed."
They're so ready to leave the country.
They totally remind me of how I felt when me and Michael stopped dating. Democrats are being so pathetic. It's like, "Hel-lo? Are you just going to throw yourself at every semi-hot guy you run into at a party?"
It's just so lame, the way Republicans are always all, "You have no business being out that late," and "as long as you're under this roof, you're going to abide by my totally lame rules." They think they're all authoritative, walking around with their butts all clenched. (Is it just me, or do Republicans always seem to have completely flabby butts?) And, they never listen to anything. It's always like, "You need to learn some responsibility and stop having any fun." Democrats are way cooler about that kind of stuff. I mean, yeah. . .they can be lame sometimes, too. . .but, at least they listen, ya know?
What gets me is that the Republicans are all acting like they're so macho, or something. Like, you remember when they were saying John Kerry was this totally faggy guy? And how they said he was so lame because, supposedly, all he cared about was gays and how he was all afraid of the terrorists? That was lame, too. They tried to make him look totally gay, even though he was brave enough to drive his boat over the border into that one place with the floods and the kids with flies all over?
Aarrgghh...that so pisses me off!
And now, since Kerry lost, all the other Democrats are totally trying to be like the Republicans. They're so stupid. And they're ruining it for Hillary, 'cuz she's supposedly this total liberal, or something. That's so gay.
And, you know that Ken Mehlman guy? You know. . .the one that was always telling Bush how to do stuff, and what to say, and all that? Well, he was someplace down south the other day -- I think it was that Mardi Gras place -- anyway, he was all talking about how the Democrats were all stuck up, and how they all think they're so cool. I heard about that, and I was all, "OMG! They're so lame! They're the ones who think they're too good for everybody. All they care about is, "Oooh! Check out my giant truck! Oooh! Watch me shoot this gun!" It's like, come on. . .that's so high school, ya know?
I don't know how Laura and Karen and Condi can stand them. It's so sad, 'cuz they can do so much better. I think it's because they feel sorry for Bush, 'cuz they know he's so stupid and immature. And, I bet you if ask them how come they all worship him, they'll be all, "OMG! He's so cute, and he's really sweet, if you get to know him. He just acts like a jerk 'cuz everyone's always a jerk to him." Like, I'm so sure.
It's so stupid, the way people just believe Bush. And they're the same way with Cheney, too, just 'cuz he hangs out with Bush all the time. It's like, "Yeah, Dick Cheney's so hot. . ." But, I bet you if they knew how he really is, and if he wasn't Bush's best friend, they'd be all "Eew!"
And, can you believe how Bush and Cheney were always talking about how John Kerry was all rich, and he's supposedly this big loser 'cuz he knows how to dress and 'cuz does stuff for Teresa all the time. They're so much worse it's pathetic. At least Kerry didn't wear some gay blue silk jacket some foreign exchange people gave him, like Bush did. And, you should see the way Bush sucks up to Laura on TV all the time. It's disgusting.
And, now, since Kerry lost, all the other Democrats are blaming him for stuff. Like, when he was running, he took some of the money he raised and saved it, just in case he had to have some at the end of the election to help pay the recount lawyers. But they're all like, "If you were really trying, you wouldn't have needed any extra money at the end, 'cuz there's just no way Bush could have won if you were really trying to win." Give me a break! Bush had all this money, and all his friends were all over the place talking about Kerry, and how he's supposedly this big sociologist. They totally turned people against Kerry, and it was all lies.
You know Karl Rove was telling them what to do. He's the only guy I know of who they all listen to, and it was like they were all going around saying the same thing, and people were just believing them, 'cuz Karl said so. That's so lame.
And, now, it's like all the other Democrats are afraid of them, or something. They just let them go around saying that stuff, and they don't do anything about it. They're supposed to be Kerry's friends, you know? But now they're all kissing Bush's butt, 'cuz they're afraid he's going to start stuff about them, too. Even Clinton was all fake -- saying how Bush is still a good guy, even though he said all that crap about Kerry. He can be such a loser, sometimes. (But, at least he's a cute loser. Heeehee!)
Now, the Republicans are all going around like they own everything. It's like, if you disagree with them, they'll totally mess with you -- and I'm not talking about just keying your car. They'll just start making up stuff about you and spread it all over the place, 'cuz they know people will start talking, and the next thing you know, everybody thinks you're this psycho moron. Even the few cool Repulicans are all changing now. They act just like Bush and Rove. You just know it's because they're scared. Even Arlen Specter, who was always kind of cool before, is wimping out.
And, OMG! Can you believe how they're all sticking up for Tom DeLay? Is that lame, or what? I mean, duh. . .guilty!
Did you see what he said about the Democrats the other day? How they're just pissed 'cuz they lost, and how it's 'cuz everybody knows they're just lying about Republicans all the time? Earth to DeLay! You fo' shizzle ain't fo' rizzle!
Anyway, the Republicans were so lame, the way they said all that stuff about Kerry. I mean, how was he supposed to stand a chance with everybody talking about how he's a liar, and how he's two-faced? Please. . .
But, if you try to say something about the Republicans, they all get this attitude -- like, "Don't even talk to her. She's such a skank. They even make people sign pledges promising not to say anything bad about them. I mean, how lame is that?
And that Porter Goss (would you go out with a guy named Porter Goss? Eew!) guy is all running around the CIA telling people to support Bush, and not to say anything bad about him. Too bad, so sad.
Whatever. . .